Why'd You Have to Go and Make Things So
by daredeer
Summary: 'Complicated' isn't the word Jounouchi would use. 'F*cked up' would be better. He won't kid himself that it's mutual. He and Kaiba have always clashed - but when you factor in a dead Pharaoh, long-suppressed emotions, and a whole lot of self-esteem issues, the result could only be the most f*cked up situation Jou's ever found himself in. Set between the end of the manga and DSOD.


'It's so quiet now,' confessed Yugi to him, two weeks after they got back from Eygpt. Jou immediately knew what he meant - or rather, to _whom_ he was referring. It didn't take a genius to guess that Atem was still dwelling on Yugi's thoughts... though in a very different manner than Yugi had learned to accommodate.

It had been a little weird for all of them, really. Atem hung, unspoken, over their heads for a good while after the ceremonial duel. As unsettling as it had first been to watch Yugi being taken over by the spirit, it had been astonishingly easy to get used to, even anticipate. And now, to lazily play duel monsters with his best friend and for it to _stay_ his best friend... Not that Jounouchi had had anything against the Pharaoh. He was a swell guy, and Jou cared for him like any other friend, and respected him. They'd just never really gelled. Atem's defiant stares had a regal force that Jou felt intimidated by, and he'd always been wary of how the young prince could appear sincere and gentle, and care for his partner to the point of self sacrifice - yet have a boiling thirst for vengeance that seemed to bubble away beneath that graceful presence. Jou would always respect him, but he'd never fully trusted the guy.

But Jou knew someone who was missing Atem on a level to rival Yugi's.

He'd never really found out, or cared enough to ask, but somehow Kaiba had known about that final duel before they'd even left Eygpt, and had in fact been waiting for them at Domino International Airport. Poor Yugi had been approached by a couple of Kaiba's suits just as they came through security. Jou still remembered the exhausted look on his friend's face before he'd been subtly manhandled into a familiar limo with pitch black windows. The following day at the Game Shop, Yugi recounted to them all how Kaiba had drilled him for every last detail. They'd driven around for about two hours under the relentless tirade of Kaiba's questioning, his eyes wide and dark and blue, his chest casually heaving with every breath. Only after Yugi revealed the exact location of the collapsed pyramid did the limo door open. After the telling of this story, the mutual understanding was present in everyone's faces. After catching Honda's eye, Jou knew that he wasn't the only one itching to give the stuck up CEO a swift 'talking to' for being so unbelievably selfish. And that is what he did, at school a few days later.

In retrospect, Jounouchi regretted not letting Honda have a piece of the action. But his fury had always been personal, and had been given extra fuel from the wound of loss. He got to school early that day for the first and only time in his life.

'Bastard.'

Kaiba did not even raise his eyes from his laptop. Jou growled and began pacing the classroom desks, fists clenched.

'You're a fuckin' prick, Kaiba. What gives you the fuckin' right to- the little guy just lost his friend, and he was tired, and you damn near kidnap him? Just because you want to- I mean, did you even think for one fuckin' second-' Jou stopped himself and scoffed, almost spitting as he turned his head away. 'Well, no, you wouldn't have. You don't have any fuckin' friends, why the fuck would you ever consider someone else's-'

'I'd like to hear what 'the little guy' thinks about you calling him that. Does Yugi know you are here, fighting his battles for him once again? Does he know you think him weak?' Kaiba lazily looked up, though the flare in his eyes betrayed his combusting anger. 'I suppose when the spirit turned up, you were out of a job. And now that he's gone, you can go back to being _little Yugi's_ foul-mouthed bodyguard again, because that's all you are to him.'

Jou snapped and leapt towards Kaiba's desk, bunching his fingers in that pristine uniform collar and hauling Kaiba to his feet. Jou noticed nothing but Kaiba's pale skin, his groomed eyebrows, his lip curled in disgust and handsome eyes flashing his victory. He could feel Kaiba's hands shaking: one clenched around his wrist, one threatening a lethal lock onto his hair and making Jou's shackles rise. As if by agreement, they always paused at this point. It allowed Kaiba time to gloat, and it allowed Jou to contemplate throwing away all his personal progress, to think about the disappointment he would bring by giving in to his rage.

Jounouchi was furious, but weary.

He let go of Kaiba's collar, and felt bony fingers release his wrist. Stepping away, he closed his eyes briefly and exhaled. Jou decided to take the advice he'd been given many times, and remove himself by walking around the block until his thoughts were clear. After taking a few steps away from Kaiba, he couldn't help but turn back and declare with venom, 'You're a piece of shit. You're not worth my fuckin' time. All you care about is winning. You're going to be alone all your fuckin' life, because even your brother's too good for you and I'm hoping he'll get the fuck away from you as soon as he's old enoug-'

 _WHAM!_

Blinding pain erupted from the centre of his face, and Jou's hand flew to his nose in shock. It was burning and the skin felt far too soft, and his fingers came away doused scarlet. Kaiba stood before him with one fist half-raised, looking uncharacteristically stunned. Jou spat out blood, and lunged for his throat.

His punches were jittery as he balanced on unsteady feet, too riled up from suppressed adrenaline to consider slowing down. Flaming anger burned in his knuckles as they sunk into Kaiba's ribs, and bursting floods of grief filled his core as he tackled the taller man to the ground, narrowly missing slamming both their heads on the edge of a desk. Kaiba bucked and kicked, but Jou managed to find a throbbing jugular in that pretty neck. Manicured nails scrabbled at Jou's grip. As he watched Kaiba's lips fading to white, Jounouchi was surprised to see a tear splash down onto Kaiba's cheek from his own.

It took him by suprise, and he jolted to his senses. Jou released Kaiba's neck, and looked on in terror as the other wheezed and coughed and shot him murderous looks with bloodshot eyes that had been bulging seconds before. The fight had evaporated from both of them. Jou sat back onto Kaiba's thighs, and all of a sudden, realised he was half hard. A stiffening of leg muscles and a sharp intake of breath showed him that he wasn't the only one to have noticed.

He sprang to his feet immediately. Kaiba sat up and his gaze followed, sweeping over Jou's body before darting to his flushed face for confirmation. Jou fidgeted in shock and shame. Kaiba pulled his legs in towards his body and rasped, 'Get out.'. Jou fled.

That night was spent in a fitful state of fruitless rationalising. His... _problem_ had been a normal response to adrenaline rush, obviously. He vaguely recalled the term 'fight or flight response' from class same time ago. But for all his abilities to talk circles around other people, Jou had never been very good at lying to himself. If it had been a bodily reaction, purely instinctive, then how was Jou to explain the way his breath still hitched whenever Kaiba looked at him face on, or the way he flinched whenever he heard that cool drawl on the TV or radio? Even after all these years? He could not deny the fact that he still - _still_ \- experienced the dreams... dreams of pale fingers and languid smirks, belt buckles and luxury sheets and legs for days. Twisted in turmoil, Jou did not sleep well that night. The following day he could not decide who looked more emotionally depleted: himself or Yugi.

Days passed by the dozen, and Jou could not bring himself to even breathe in Kaiba's direction, never mind speak to him. Though as the tension built between him and the CEO, Jou sensed relaxation sinking into his friendship circle once more. With everyone's support, Yugi's laugh was once more drawn out into the open sunlight. The eggshells they had each been tiptoeing around were swiftly swept under the rug. Decks of cards began to make reappearances, and Yugi's eyeliner became a little darker, more flowing. Their hands still smiled. Through the links of their friendship, it was easier to let go of the past. Kaiba had it worse. Time passed, and from the corner of his eye Jou watched the man grow tired and ansty, restless, his relentless blue eyes darkening from lack of sleep.

Looking back, Jou couldn't even remember what the argument had been about - something like a duel, probably. The aftermath was all he could recall, pinned against the forefront of his memory like Kaiba had him pinned against the blackboard. Their teacher had left already, thank god, but Jou could still hear the cries of his friends telling him it wasn't worth it. He snarled at Kaiba, who remained suspiciously impassive. A subtle movement, disguised as a power struggle, brought Kaiba's knee in between Jou's thighs. Jou melted a fraction, weakness fluttering across his face before he scowled and shoved Kaiba away. Jou was tense on the walk home that day. Anzu walked with him as far as the bus stop, warning him not to let himself be so affected by Kaiba, and Jou silently wished such a thing were possible.

The day after the incident, after lessons, Kaiba entered the boys' bathroom a couple of minutes after Jou had passed through the door, as if that would make it any less obvious. Jounouchi was drying wet hands, and made eye contact through a mirror. Kaiba fired a curt dismissal at a younger student, who quickly exited. Before the door had closed, Jou found himself suddenly pinned once more. They were touching from abdomen to knee, and Kaiba's low voice rumbled through him like a bassline.

'You find me attractive.'

When no confirmation came, Kaiba sought his own. He skimmed his fingers across Jou's ribs, down to grab the back of his thigh, and simultaneously ducked to hover pouty lips a hair's breadth away from Jou's pulsing jugular. Jou hated how readily he swooned, but he couldn't help but lean in to the touch, tilt his neck. Kaiba stepped back and Jou was pulled unresisting into the nearest cubicle. Fingernails dug rivulets into skin and suddenly his fly was down and there were hands around his cock, and Jou was hunched over Kaiba's shoulder gasping shuddering breaths and trying to keep control of himself as the literal object of his dreams whispered insults into his ear.

And so began the formulation of their codes. A sly dog insult in passing came to signify a hurried lunchtime tryst. A scuffle of fists and knees in the breakyard were redirected and became slicker, more hurried, panting in the boys locker room after the bell had long since rung. And afterwards: satisfaction, and shame, and smug smirking lips tainting his skin with poison. Everyone noticed the changes.

'I thought you and Kaiba-kun had reached a truce?', asked Yugi one lunchtime, while Jou could feel a dark glare burning into his shoulders from across the hall.

'The guy's a total prick, Yug',' said Jounouchi flatly. 'He needs to be reminded of that, or his head will swell and block out the sun.'

Yugi looked unconvinced, so he added, 'Besides, he always starts it.'

His friend said nothing, but Jou could imagine the response. _'But you don't have to engage with him'_. And it was true. No, he didn't have to take the bait every time; to follow and be roughly pushed to his knees on the slimy bathroom floor, and part his lips and flick his tongue and accept what was given to him- and not only that but _enjoy_ it; and come away with a sore throat and the cuffs of his sleeves wet where he'd tried to wash off the cum stains. Jou was disgusted with himself. After so many years of resistance, he was willingly letting himself be trodden into the dirt, letting the verbal abuse shatter over his skull as his hands and lips worshiped the cold marble skin he had lusted after for years.

Because Jounouchi was not a fool. He saw the way Kaiba's eyes took on a gleam the more tired and desperate Jou became. Kaiba's particularly vile, cutting insults would cause Jou's eyes to narrow in a blaze of indignation and shame, and he would feel Kaiba's cock twitch inside his mouth. Once, face pressed against the cold tiled wall, helpless with his arms twisted behind his back yet not really resisting either, Jou had widened his stance and let Kaiba simply rub off against him, dry humping fully clothed, panting and grunting. Kaiba had been so worked up he'd barely had the breath to speak, and Jou had arched his back and bucked back into that desperately hard friction, keening, and they'd both come in record time. To Jou's mind, that afternoon was the first time Kaiba had ever bunked off school for non-work-related reasons. He felt a disgusted burst of pride that he was the reason for that; _he_ was the one who got to suck off the mighty, untouchable Seto Kaiba. But he knew, and it was impossible to deny, that he was just a pawn in another of the businessman's sick games of power and control. He'd shown a weakness, and Kaiba had built his empire upon others' weaknesses. Though on the days where Kaiba looked especially worn down, or his strut was lacking in the usual controlled swagger, Jou himself would initiate their sinful collisions, as if he was doing him a favour. As if he _cared_. Which, to some extent, he did. Deep down, it made him feel just a little better to see Kaiba's self-satisfied smirk return to those haughty features, and know that he'd been able to help. It was fucked up.

Kaiba stopped coming to school regularly, and Jounouchi only glimpsed him maybe a couple of times a week. His absences were nothing new, and the school staff had learned not to challenge it if they wanted to keep their job security. It wasn't as if the rich bastard needed to be in school anyway, mused Jou angrily on the walk back home after another failed math test. He kicked a stone across the road with one scuffed sneaker. And then another one, which pinged off a car's bumper, so he heightened his pace to a casual run. Kaiba was miles ahead of any of them, education-wise. It was only the law requiring him to stay for his final year, and then the prick would be free to make money, build theme parks, do whatever the fuck he wanted. Take over the world, if the desire overtook him. Pent up from jealousy and indignity, Jou stomped aimlessly through the city until the evening drew in, and somehow he was standing looking up at the moon peeking out from behind the roof of the iKaiba fucking manor.

Kaiba's bed was as luxurious as it had been in Jou's dreams. The billion-thread count sheets were soft against his skin, and Kaiba's perfect fingernails left ragged raw scratches on his hips and inner thighs. Jou thought he had Kaiba pinned down to a T, but in the half light he learned of the unusual faint scars around his lithe neck, as if he was wearing an invisible collar. Kaiba's body was a string of bones and muscle, the shadows under his cheekbones looking gaunt in the darkness. Jou wondered if he'd lost weight - from stress or anxiety if the constant shaking of his hands was any indication. Jou thought about how Kaiba had not been active in the dueling space for weeks, and had refused to answer questions from reporters about his future championship plans. But the two of them never talked, so Jou remained unquestioning. When it was over, Kaiba sat up, ran a quivering hand through his hair, donned a flowing dressing gown, and left the room to silence. After a couple of minutes, Jounouchi sat up, redressed in his school uniform, and crept through the hallways with a clenched jaw, feeling all the eyes of the world on his back. He headed straight to an all-night newsagents, bought a packet of cigarettes, and smoked until the sun rose over the cold park bench beneath his thin trousers. It had been years since he'd smoked. At school, he noticed all his friends lingering next to him and subtly inhaling the ashy scent that clung to his hair and clothes, but no one said anything. They all just looked worried. Jou watched their pitying eyes and suddenly realised what it might have been like for Yugi after the ceremonial duel. Though he'd much rather have the support and help of his friends than try and face the dark days alone, like he had in middle school.

And then, on the news, the revelation came.

 _'...a recent breakthrough from KaibaCorp's archaeological contracts in Egypt will no doubt mean big steps forward for the international gaming company. Master Kaiba, what can you tell us about the brand new virtual reality system scheduled for testing later this month? Is the dig in Egypt in any way related to this advancement?'_

Jou's head snapped up from where he was getting some water at the kitchen sink, and he dashed over to the portable TV perched on top of their tiny fridge. He didn't turn up the volume for fear of waking his father, but he watched open-mouthed as Mokuba Kaiba rattled off a load of vague technological promises to the microphone held before him. Suited up and smiling democratically, he looked older than Jou remembered: no longer a little kid trailing around after his big brother. But then the camera showed an aerial view of a particular desert some several thousand miles away, covered in scaffolding and tents and all-terrain vehicles, and a _collapsed pyramid_ -

Unannounced, uninvited, and surprising even himself, Jou demanded entrance to the KaibaCorp Headquarters just as he should have been settling down to his first period school lesson. The skeptical receptionist would have had him thrown out if not for Jou's last plea to let President Kaiba know he was there. She spoke a few derisive words into a telephone, then hung up and begrudgingly had some well-built suit escort Jou into the glass-panelled sky. Even the nameplate on Kaiba's office door was golden.

'What the hell are you doing here?' sneered Kaiba coldly, and it damn near broke Jou's resolve.

'What the hell are _you_ doing in Egypt? Have some fucking respect for the dead!'

Kaiba rose, slamming veiny hands onto his desk as he yelled. 'How dare you barge into my office and challenge me about things you don't know about. Things you don't have the _right_ to know about.'

Jounouchi flinched visibly.

Kaiba's voice was quieter now, almost a hiss. 'You mean nothing to me, you pathetic excuse for a human. Never forget that.'

Swallowing the lump in his throat, and scowling to hide his bruised ego, Jou retorted, 'Well, _Atem_ must have meant something to you! I know what you're doing, you prick. You can't bring back the dead! Especially not for your own sick, twisted revenge plans, or whatever the fuck it is you want from him-'

'I must duel him,' said Kaiba to the floor, fists clenched. Jounouchi saw the fragility of his stooped shoulders, the exhaustion in the lines between his brows and the sickly pallor of his skin. He was suddenly reminded that Kaiba was actually younger than him. Pity mixed in with his anger, and Jounouchi was struck by the urge to icare, to take those shaking hands in his own and show this fucked up man that it was okay to lose, to let people in. That self esteem came from the support of your loved ones, not from building yourself up on a teetering tower of crushed rivals and belittled devotees. That proving yourself was a lot easier when you already had others believing in you.

But those speeches had always fallen deaf to Kaiba's ears. Jou exhaled heavily, forcing himself to relax. 'We all miss him, Kaiba, but you can't bring him back.'

'Don't tell me what I can and can't do,' spat Kaiba, suddenly spurred into action and marching around his desk to come face to face with Jou, jabbing him in the chest with a pointed finger. His eyes were wide, the bloodshot whites showing all the way around his irises in seething rage. 'I have more power than you could ever dream of. There is _nothing_ I cannot do.'

Jou felt himself shrinking, overwhelmed by the force and effort behind Kaiba's words. They were unbearably true. The man would stop at nothing to get whatever he wanted, even if it killed him. Which, by his dwindling physical condition, it surely was doing. Jou admired Kaiba's determination, secretly, deeply, just as he always had; but he also felt sorry for him.

The only sound was the ticking of a clock, and their hearts beating faster. Blue eyes darted back and forth as Kaiba searched Jou's face for a response. None came, so he puffed out his chest and smirked, instinctively, habitually. Jou wanted to slap him. Jou wanted to kiss him.

Their mouths had never touched; it had been an unspoken agreement. Jounouchi pressed unpracticed lips to that pouty, sadistic smirk and held on tight to Kaiba's silken hair, and savoured the bittersweet taste. A tick from the clock echoed in the vacuum, and for a moment, it felt like Kaiba was actually pressing back, giving into the warmth.

Then the contact was broken and Jou felt a sharp backhand slice through the air to his face, sending him staggering. He clapped a hand to the side of his swelling cheek, not really feeling the pain. Kaiba was staring at him, and Jounouchi watched as the businessman facade smoothed over the emotion in his face, how his arms folded in on himself and his back straightened. 'Go,' he commanded. 'My staff will show you out.'

Jou drew himself up too, holding his head high. He drew breath to speak, to leave some remark or comment lingering behind his exit, but he knew that Kaiba would take no notice of anything he did now. And two could play at the false courtesy game. So he inclined his head sarcastically, giving a half bow, before departing. He made sure to slam the door behind him.

* * *

I am working on the next chapter of 'Coffee', no fear.

However, I've been having a lot of thoughts recently about My Son, Seto 'no chill' Kaiba, and I just had to type this out. Hope you enjoyed!

I've not seen dsod, so the fic could be vaguely inaccurate.


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